Uh, huh, just a little something to keep you looking forward to the mid-week!
"Business Time" by Flight of the Conchords
sexIt was an experiment. I wanted to see what the big deal was. Why was it something that guys constantly thought about and talked about? Why was it constantly a part of almost every primetime television show?
I didn't really like the boy and I was way too young, but I was curious and he was cute enough. He was thin, but not quite lanky. He had played basketball and had one of those bodies that you could tell in a few years would fill out. He had a light complexion and dark brown eyes. I remember thinking if his nose wasn't so big, he'd be really hot. I often wonder why I chose him as my first, but in my mind he was just as good as any boy our age. (I still need to examine why I was so jaded at such a young age. 
I was staying at my aunt's house for the weekend and let's just say my aunt wasn't the most vigilant at times. She figured my cousin and I were playing outside. He was home alone -- his mother and older brother weren't going to be home until about 7:00 p.m. We started making out on the couch. He told me that he thought I was pretty and he wanted to make me feel good. I mentally rolled my eyes. He had the same weak rap that most guys had. He put his hand under my shirt and started touching my breasts through my bra. "Can I see your bra he asked?" I nodded and took off my shirt. I don't remember what kind of bra I was wearing, but I'm pretty sure it was either white or beige. It couldn't have been too sexy, but to him it was. I immediately felt something poking me in the leg after that. He slid his hand up my leg and slipped it under my shorts. He touched me through my underwear and I finally felt a twinge of arousal. Until then, I was detached, almost clinical. After a few minutes of touching me through my panties, he said, "Let's go to my room." I nodded and followed him to his room in the back. He had a twin bed and huge dresser that took up most of the room!
We laid down on the bed and dry humped for a while, then he took of his shorts and underwear. When I saw it, I remember thinking that it looked like a banana. It kinda curved to the side and with his yellow complexion it really looked like it belonged in a fruit bowl. He took off my shorts and panties and said, "Are you ready baby?" I answered, "Yeah, sure." After a bit of fumbling around on his part he finally figured out where to go. That's when I realized I was NOT ready! It hurt like a sum mumma bitch! I didn't remember women mentioning it felt like you were getting impaled in the movies. What happened to the waves crashing against the beach and the fireworks? No, that's not what it was like at all. There was a skinny boy wearing nothing but socks on top of me and awkwardly trying to push himself into me. It was time to abort this experiment! I told him to stop and he did. He apologized and I apologized, too. I put my clothes back on and told him I had to get back to my aunt's house. He was kind enough to walk me to the door. I never saw him again. After that, I didn't have sex again until I was 19.
As if we women don't have enough to worry about! Thanks to the easy accessiblity of porn, we women are now almost overly concerned with the grooming of our nether regions!
Marilyn Monroe made sure her curtains matched her drapes. Most women at least trim the hedges and some of us just throw caution to the wind and take a Brazillian approach. Some women compromise and leave a little reminder that they've actually reached puberty and leave a little racing stripe.
When you think about it, this type of upkeep is a bit ridiculous. Since the beginning of time, men have been facinated with women's feminine cores. They've never seemed to mind risking the possiblity of getting tangled in it's wild yet beguilling clutches. This is why I was a bit taken aback by an admission made by a friend of mine who was telling me about his new girlfriend. He told me that she was smart, beautiful, self-reliant and easy to talk to. He said he liked the fact that she was a size 16 and not another liposuctioned, over aerobicised, fembot. I was thrilled. "Finally!" I thought. "He's hit the jackpot." Then he went on to say, "The only thing that bother's me is well, she's um...all natural down there."
"Well, I certainly hope so!" I replied, "You wouldn't want that to be fake would you?"
"No," he said. She doesn't really trim the hedges. I kinda prefer it to be clean shaven."
"Considering the fact that it is her vagina, don't you think that's really up to her?"
"Yeah, but, I don't know. I was just wondering if there was a way I could bring it up without offending her."
"Well damn, man! Does it bother you enough to keep you from having sex with her?"
"No."
"Case closed."
So, is there a way to for him to bring the issue up without him looking like a tool? Don't get me wrong, I'm being completely hypocritical because I've fallen into the grooming trap myself. I won't get into graphic details, but I will say....nahh, nevermind.
The Gothic Mistress and I tried to have a romance cover / photoshop contest, but there were no takers. I decided to take one of the original covers she provided and play with it a bit. Since I don't have Photoshop on my laptop, I had to make do with a very inferior image editor program. However, I did have fun coming up with a twist on the original cover. 
How safe is your bank?
Same old problem
Bad idea?