What can I say? Trash is the word of the day. Here's a perfectly good ol' science-fiction novel I just had to re-write:

Men should be forewarned because the FUTURE is here today and, in case you're wondering why your girlfriends aren't giving you enough head, it's because they've decided machines are better than men!
TIME WARP! WARNING! TIME WARP!  WE WILL NOW BE GOING BACK IN TIME TO THE 1960's WHEN THE FUTURE WAS ALL ABOUT "GETTIN' SOME" FOR FREE! 

Here are several sleazy romance and sci-fi covers I DID NOT MAKE UP! Heads up, kiddos, search your local antique stores for some of these titles; you never know what kind of paperback sleaze you'll find...

After seeing that cover, don't you want to meet RANDY?


I don't know about you, but looks like some of those Sexy Saucer People are having a BAD hang-over!


DEFIED the 25th century by being with a woman who wasn't his wife who was also NOT a woman? Honey, there are folks way back in the 20th century who've got this spaceman beat!


Hmmmm... I think some of you out there might want to go to that planet for vacation!
And if the Virgin Planet isn't getting your juices going, maybe you should beam up to the Starship Intercourse!

Seriously, I DID NOT MAKE UP these covers. These books REALLY exist!


Busy bodies, eh? Yeah, I bet those stuffy old professors sitting in the dark want to get with that chic. Too bad they're too busy masterbating behind that two-way mirror...

Meanwhile, getting back to vacation spots... maybe going to the Orgy Beach wouldn't be half bad?


The guy above looks like he can't make up his mind which chic he wants to suck his cock first!


Yeah, and I bet she's still so hot that the guy who killed her would still have sex with her after she dead!

Now this is just SICK...

Those candles look like strange elongated phallases(?) -- what's the plural for phallas?  Ah, heck!  Cock is cock, right?  I should've just said "strange elongated cocks dripping with cum" -- uh, now that's a mouthful...  Oh, somebody slap me!!!

 
Yeah, and I bet that Mama could swing her titties to the beat!  "Drums of Destiny?"  Good God, more like "D-cups of Destiny!!!" 

Oh, yeah, I bet that secret agent has SUCH a HARD job with those chics...
 

"She was daring, darling, and dangerous" and kinda looks like my Mom!  Hey, mom, I didn't know you was paperback novel sleaze.  Yeah, if only.  My mother was anything but a wanton seductress... but as for me...!

TIME WARP! WARNING! TIME WARP!  WE WILL NOW BE RETURNING TO THE 21st CENTURY! (make sure you have your vomit bag handy if you stare at these tings too long)

Was it good for you? 

Wanna get more? Go visit this site featuring the illustration of Robert Bonfils; the artist behind some of these fantasic covers!